In the name of Allah

most gracious, most merciful.

“

And his guess turned out to be correct. a few days later Abu Ubaidah bin Al-Jarrah (ra) was struck by the deadly plague.

In his last days he made the following dying statement to his armed forces:

“today i am giving you some advice; if you accept it, you will find peace and security to be your companions:

• establish salat, be regular in your prayers.
• fast during the month of Ramadhan
• give sacrifices and be charitable often
• perform the Hajj
• perform Umrah
• encourage and instruct each other to do good actions
• wish your rulers well and be loyal to them
• never deceive your rulers
• be careful that you perform your duties and are not lost in worldly pursuits
• listen carefully to what i have to say next. Even if a man gets to live to be a thousand years old, one day he will be in the same position in which you see me today. No one can escape death.

My greetings of peace to all of you; may there be countless Blessings of Allah the Merciful on you all”

Then he turned to Mu’adh bin Jabl(ra) and said:

“Leade the men well in prayers. Allah Hafiz”

and with thiese words on his lips he passed away.

“To Allah we belong and to Him we return”

–Book: Commanders of the Muslim Army by Mahmood Ahmad Ghadanfar

Pg 74-75 On Abu Ubaidah bin Al-jarrah (ra)

In the name of Allah,

most gracious, most merciful.

I told myself that this break is an opportunity for me to uplift my spiritual faith. and i shall. insyaAllah. i must.

my heart’s been burning with passion and eagerness everytime i think of what my future can bring. though the timing of life and death is written, it’s the choices that we make, make us who we are now. remember that.

i would rather be in a place years of problems, that i can sit down and repent and asking for His help rather than be in time of years not having any difficulties, and forget to be thankful.

Really, this life of mine really taught myself alot of things. and being 20, sometimes i cant believe the loads of things i think about.

my colleagues and i had our staff retreat. i signed up for baking and we made cupcakes. i changed my profile picture in my facebook, vain of how i look. astarghfirullah. the devil almost caught me under its wraps of vainity and not keeping of one’s aurat. thus, changed back to my old profile picture. can you imagine if i’m like the others, who got lost in their outer beauty of themselves? //shivers.

In the name of Allah,

most gracious, most merciful.

i told my sister, i am who my crowd is.

“When, i look at her, i hate. i hate myself for she reflected herself on me. she made me hate my appearance. what kind of soul ever does that to another?”

have you not heard of the 2 soldiers that came out of the jungle?

when they went out of the jungle,

one soldier has mud on his face and the other was clean. but when they met, it was the soldier with clean face thought that his face was dirty, because that was what he saw at his companion, and the other thought he had a clean face.

spoiling herself, allowed her to spoil me..though, it’s upto me to decide such a barrier to be thick or not against me and her, the power of human connection plays a role too, thus, allowing the penetration.

I am who my crowd is.

In the name of Allah,

most gracious, most merciful.

171. They glory in the Grace and the bounty from Allah, and in the fact that Allah suffereth not the reward of the Faithful to be lost (in the least).

172. Of those who answered the call of Allah and the Messenger, even after being wounded, those who do right and refrain from wrong have a great reward;-

173. Men said to them: “A great army is gathering against you”: And frightened them: But it (only) increased their Faith: They said: “For us Allah sufficeth, and He is the best disposer of affairs.”

174. And they returned with Grace and bounty from Allah. no harm ever touched them: For they followed the good pleasure of Allah. And Allah is the Lord of bounties unbounded.

175. It is only the Evil One that suggests to you the fear of his votaries: Be ye not afraid of them, but fear Me, if ye have Faith.

176. Let not those grieve thee who rush headlong into Unbelief: Not the least harm will they do to Allah. Allah.s plan is that He will give them no portion in the Hereafter, but a severe punishment.

177. Those who purchase Unbelief at the price of faith,- not the least harm will they do to Allah, but they will have a grievous punishment.

178. Let not the Unbelievers think that our respite to them is good for themselves: We grant them respite that they may grow in their iniquity: But they will have a shameful punishment.

179. Allah will not leave the believers in the state in which ye are now, until He separates what is evil from what is good nor will He disclose to you the secrets of the Unseen. But He chooses of His Messenger. (For the purpose) whom He pleases. So believe in Allah. And His apostles: And if ye believe and do right, ye have a reward without measure.

180. And let not those who covetously withhold of the gifts which Allah Hath given them of His Grace, think that it is good for them: Nay, it will be the worse for them: soon shall the things which they covetously withheld be tied to their necks Like a twisted collar, on the Day of Judgment. To Allah belongs the heritage of the heavens and the earth; and Allah is well-acquainted with all that ye do.

181. Allah hath heard the taunt of those who say: “Truly, Allah is indigent and we are rich!”- We shall certainly record their word and (their act) of slaying the prophets in defiance of right, and We shall say: “Taste ye the penalty of the Scorching Fire!

182. “This is because of the (unrighteous deeds) which your hands sent on before ye: For Allah never harms those who serve Him.”

183. They (also) said: “(Allah) took our promise not to believe in an apostle unless He showed us a sacrifice consumed by Fire (From heaven).” Say: “There came to you apostles before me, with clear Signs and even with what ye ask for: why then did ye slay them, if ye speak the truth?”

184. Then if they reject thee, so were rejected apostles before thee, who came with Clear Signs, Books of dark prophecies, and the Book of Enlightenment.

185. Every soul shall have a taste of death: And only on the Day of Judgment shall you be paid your full recompense. Only he who is saved far from the Fire and admitted to the Garden will have attained the object (of Life): For the life of this world is but goods and chattels of deception.

186. Ye shall certainly be tried and tested in your possessions and in your personal selves; and ye shall certainly Hear much that will grieve you, from those who received the Book before you and from those who worship many gods. But if ye persevere patiently, and guard against evil,-then that will be a determining factor in all affairs.

187. And remember Allah took a covenant from the People of the Book, to make it known and clear to mankind, and not to hide it; but they threw it away behind their backs, and purchased with it some miserable gain! And vile was the bargain they made!

188. Think not that those who exult in what they have brought about, and love to be praised for what they have not done,- think escape the penalty. For them is a penalty Grievous indeed.

189. To Allah belongeth the dominion of the heavens and the earth; and Allah hath power over all things.

190. Behold! in the creation of the heavens and the earth, and the alternation of night and day,- there are indeed Signs for men of understanding,-

191. Men who celebrate the praises of Allah, standing, sitting, and lying down on their sides, and contemplate the (wonders of) creation in the heavens and the earth, (With the thought): “Our Lord! not for naught Hast Thou created (all) this! Glory to Thee! Give us salvation from the penalty of the Fire.

192. “Our Lord! any whom Thou dost admit to the Fire, Truly Thou coverest with shame, and never will wrong-doers Find any helpers!

193. “Our Lord! we have heard the call of one calling (Us) to Faith, ‘Believe ye in the Lord,’ and we have believed. Our Lord! Forgive us our sins, blot out from us our iniquities, and take to Thyself our souls in the company of the righteous.

194. “Our Lord! Grant us what Thou didst promise unto us through Thine apostles, and save us from shame on the Day of Judgment: For Thou never breakest Thy promise.”

195. And their Lord hath accepted of them, and answered them: “Never will I suffer to be lost the work of any of you, be he male or female: Ye are members, one of another: Those who have left their homes, or been driven out therefrom, or suffered harm in My Cause, or fought or been slain,- verily, I will blot out from them their iniquities, and admit them into Gardens with rivers flowing beneath;- A reward from the presence of Allah, and from His presence is the best of rewards.”

196. Let not the strutting about of the Unbelievers through the land deceive thee:

197. Little is it for enjoyment: Their ultimate abode is Hell: what an evil bed (To lie on)!

198. On the other hand, for those who fear their Lord, are Gardens, with rivers flowing beneath; therein are they to dwell (for ever),- a gift from the presence of Allah. and that which is in the presence of Allah is the best (bliss) for the righteous.

199. And there are, certainly, among the People of the Book, those who believe in Allah, in the revelation to you, and in the revelation to them, bowing in humility to Allah. They will not sell the Signs of Allah for a miserable gain! For them is a reward with their Lord, and Allah is swift in account.

200. O ye who believe! Persevere in patience and constancy; vie in such perseverance; strengthen each other; and fear Allah. that ye may prosper.

In the name of Allah,

most gracious, most merciful.

Everytime i question myself if there’s actually a reason for me to fight.

and i have. for all the reasons of this world and hereafter. at all cost. no matter what the price is.

3 years i have borrowed time. it has to be now.

but in our terms, we never needed your help. we only asked for His guidance insyaAllah.

else i’ll just be hiding my life, never proving my point.

That daughters can have a voice. and the oppressed can fight the good fight.

In the name of Allah,

most gracious, most merciful.

So, i’ve watched the movie; An Education. a very light and interesting movie.

it’s about a 16-year old girl who met an older guy. after much dating and seeing the world in good dining, she finally contemplates between marrying him and drop her ambition to read English or don’t marry him and contn with her studies (duh..) I don’t want to talk about the synopsis, you can just read up online.

at the end of the movie, i was thinking, what’s wrong with marrying young? for girls, anyway.

watch the movie and you’ll know what i mean when i said i agreed with the father. when the father supported the idea of her marrying that man and don’t need to continue studying at Harvard. Don’t really need that education= good salary when you have a man that can support you, right?

the daughter shouted back, what’s the point of the years of studying then, she can just live as a stripper and get such man. and the father said, “i’m not so sure living as a stripper but i’m sure of an education”

and i agreed with the father about education money and other types of money doesn’t come from a tree at house backyard.

however, the ending doesnt sound so good..and i agreed to the ending being so possible for me to deny.

Too bad, the man’s not a muslim…so much for finally finding the one that completes him.

—————

Woman marry young, without saying, prevents the couple from committing zina in so many different ways.

and likelihood for them to divorce would be low (that is if she met a guy very much compatible and be able to take care of her and not of those whose mind is still of a child)…because, the woman would still be young and playful. importantly, be able to ‘mould’ to follow her husband ways. like how Aishah(ra) is to Prophet Muhammad(saw) (Allah knows best), no? i mean, you compared to a 30-year-old woman, they would have build up and influenced by something else and when they finally get married, the spouses will bicket because of too much different of thoughts, cultures, level of open-mindedness, way of living and etc. the factors would be too much.

Cream of All, what’s wrong with marrying young yet still able to continue your studies? it’s just like having a halal-full-time-permanent-contract boyfriend.

Think about it.

and if you disagree with what i’m saying. wait till when you actually get married and finally find the man you love. then, we talk.

such discussion can only conversed through experience and wisdom.

This entry does no justice to what i actually want to say. but words can only be communicated this much.

and also because my mother wants her notebook back. -_-”

In the name of Allah,

most gracious, most merciful.

Weeks ago, i told my dad of my intention to donate a sheep for EidulAdha. When he plans to donate one, i told him to put my name in and i will pay my share with my money.

Days later after the incident, he told me that he already put my name in the list. and insisted that he paid for it.

Yesterday, he told us that on thursday, he went to the mosque for prayers and saw the sheeps. he called out “nazira!” and the sheep went , “baa..baa” -_-” haha. lol. ok the story’s nt much. but it’s too comical not to share. lol

After solat Eid Adha, we had our lunch and by 1015am, we were on our way to Masjid Haji Yusof to observe my sheep getting slaughtered.

number 77 came and it was finally my turn. i was so nervous of the outcome because if you’re sinful, it would hard on the sheep to be slaughtered. i remembered giving grace that that if i’m that much sinful, please don’t bestow the punishment on the sheep, and let it be sacrificed as smoothly as possible. Allah hu akbar. God knows how much i recited my SubhanaAllahs and Allah huakbars’.

Father told me to touch my sheep. i hesitated but in the end touched it. it was soft and bouncy so i immediately retreat my hand. lol. i think i touched its stomach. yes, i have fear of animals and having a pet hamster didnt help at all. lol.

my mother told me not to sympathize for the sheep. how not to? but alhamdulilah, i reminded myself that it’s for Allah and that if i were in that position. i would have also lift my neck willingly and get slaughtered in the name of Allah. insyaAllah. subhnaAllah. thinking about our islamic heroes, i would have died a thousand times in the field for Allah too.

Although, it’s not my first time observing the sacrifice, i was this CLOSE to becoming vegetarian.

and worst of all, my mother cooked my sheep’s heart and kidneys and told me that i have to eat. I KNOW. i’m like… O_O. lolol. okok, so i justified by saying that i don’t eat heart. so i took 2 bites of my sheep’s kidneys. my mother cooked curry heart and kidneys. i don’t eat lor! i only eat kidneys if it goes with sambal goreng. -_-”

So that’s how much i can recollect my memory now. insyaAllah, i would like to donate with my own money next year. it really was an eye-opener for renewal of faith.

good start to experience Judgement day, perhaps? lol.

//i can’t believe im putting this entry under “food and such” because of the curry my mother cooked.

Dear Sheep nazira, may i see you again in Jannah, insyaAllah. i’m proud that you had the courage to sacrifice yourself in the name of Allah. that you are submissive without questioning. my eyes’ in tears not because i missed you but because for that 2 minutes i know you, i admire your strength.  because we have to be strong even though we have to sacrifice alot.

In the name of Allah,

most gracious, most merciful.

In the name of Allah,

most gracious, most merciful.

An old friend of mine finally opened a blog for his thoughts. alhamdulilah.

May your blog be a source of knowledge. insyaAllah.

Yes, such an announcement’s worth an entry about itself.

www.looking4light.wordpress.com

In the name of Allah,

most gracious, most merciful.

Now that School holidays are here for the kids, ive only got to commit 4 hours of engagement time in school till my protected time comes. which means, ive got abit more time for myself.

Now that, protected time is nearing and importantly, tmrw is eiduladha and 2 more weekends consecutively…

it’s time for self-reflection. a long long due self-reflection, which should have been done everyday with or without working hours.

insyaAllah, till then, im preparing to gear myself up for tears and long thoughtful entries.

ps. for those who have not watch 2012 movie, it is rubbish movie, so please dont watch it. the movie’s only objective is to instill fear of death in our hearts. and coming from someone, who easily jumps from sudden action-packed scenes, this movie really bore me to death. the only reason why i forced myself to wake up throughout the movie is because i paid 10 bux for it.

and oh, PSLE results are out. although, the results don’t really bring much impact on me, i was utterly disappointed with the results. utterly disappointed. however, im glad to have this opportunity to see the events through my lenses, because then i’ll know, how to raise my child and what not to do when raising one, or 5…(raising eyebrows)

a friend of mine confided that she’s on the verge of breaking up with her boyfriend. and i honestly, don’t know how to console or advise or comfort her or any of that matter. because it has been soo long that i have ever stood in such position, soo long that the meaning of “boyfriend- girlfriend” has lost its meaning. well, and probably because i never have to face such a situation in such a baseless and non-stable relationship of “boyfriend-girlfriend” to begin with. insyaAllah. nauzubillah min zalik.

and when comes to think about it. subhanAllah, it has been 3 years (and still counting, insyaAllah). although, difficult, i have never regret the decision i’ve made.insyaAllah.

i know Allah’s on my side. insyaAllah.

//why is lindsay lohan’s song is stuck in my head. her song is meaningless -_-”