Just takes time to finally show the wound for those who wants to see.

In the name of Allah,

most gracious, most merciful.

So, Ive finally turned 20. Alhamdulilah. the number doesnt mean much to me, just that it became a symbol of what it means. After all, i finally have 3 achievements i accomplished this year and one of them is just about to start on the September 14 insyaAllah.

i say it is a symbol because, for others who are still pursuing a degree would still be..well…full-time student and studying still? so for me, though i wish i was, Allah’s got better plans for me, and when i think of it, it soothes my heart and remind me that this pain’s temporary. im a grown up now and insyaAllah, be independent and finding own’s rice and bowl. i dream of the day, i can bring my mother out for good dining and gift a present and money for her expenditure.

———-

I asked my friend how long has it been we last talked and shared apart from making jokes and go round a place, window shopping and whatever. and to be honest, there never was a time. so i felt drifted because in a group of 7,they are sets of 2;  having another closer companion to be with in the group and i was left sifted. i don’t ask for a couple of tears and expect any of us to be a shoulder, but wouldn’t it better if we had even given a choice? i don’t know your life and hell, you don’t know mine. i tried to open up a year ago and tell abt my status, and the next thing, everyone kept mum and close my book and left me with what ive got.

What dishearten me the most is that, you never tried to accept him, when you know, he already makes half of my life. too much to ask for a dinner eh?.and really, when you say sisters, you must have meant, “SISTERS and nazira”

But it’s okay. of course, between such clique and reserve oneself; of course i would pick the latter than being bitter gourd that no one wants to taste.

Although this is half of my points, i end here. you MUST have known which direction i am going at after all this years of accumulating and going with the flow in the group. either that, or you’re in denial thinking everyone’s good as long we see each other.

I honestly, don’t mind and won’t have hard feelings if ever this separation takes long-term. and we would definitely say our hellos if we bump to each other. but with different personalities in us, showing more as we get older, i rather give this phase a miss and cherish,miss & love the times we shared in secondary school for the innocence we all had once.