Al-Mu’min

In the name of Allah,

most gracious, most merciful.

Alhamdulilah. my cousin just gave birth to a baby boy; Mikhail Solihin. subhanallah. my heart weeps when i think of the happiness she has.

while i wait for mine.

dried eyes and swollen pain inside.

In the name of Allah,

most gracious, most merciful.

Astarghfirullah. my emotions have been on a roller coaster. and often at low come nightime. had my iman been a being, i would have whipped him because of poor performance. astarghfirullah. if only my iman can only be standardised. i feel so low that im not worthy of anything.

i didn’t attend my arabic class because im at the verge of hopelessness. tried to save myself, by telling the admin and my teacher that ill be coming by to take my notes and etc. but tomorrow never comes. come 230 pm and i clock out from work, the only place i can think of is home and to sleep an hour before i start my engine again.

i really want to continue arabic study but nothing fits me now.

come. join me in my path of loneliness and stranded.

to blow off the dusty books

Penned thoughts

in the name of Allah,
most gracious, most merciful.

i shall write down my plannings and insyaAllah will not be ‘pancit’ before my achievements are met.

1) intend to quit my current Arabic level 3 and start back to level 2. no point passing a level through a “just pass” paper. cause end of the day I intend to und Quran text n not just passing the exam paper. but I contacted the admin and said that level 2 will be on Saturdays. which means, I cannot attend cause of my commitments to
mendaki. so game plan has changed. 2/3 weeks till exam so I’m gg to study like no ones business and make sure I get that quality score (above 90 insyaAllah. if not, maintain my standard 84) yes all my Arabic classmates are high achievers and I must keep up. insyaAllah. it’s depressing to see that others are fluent in translating Arabic sentence and I’m still struggling.

2) oh, since tts the new game plan. I shall do a plan to divide my after-school time among sports time, Arabic self-study n Islamic knowledge (Quran reading, text memorisation, seerah classes, Quran audios and I have yet to put tajweed class inside my to-do list)

3) have plans to divide my savings to different accts. and it’s enough for monetary matters to be kept inside my head.

so far tts all I’ve got under my sleeves. yes, a big plate for a hungry appetite.

all these are wishful thinking and I know one point, I will be burnt out. insyaAllah, come a will, there’s a way.

wish me luck!

Identity

In the name of Allah,

most gracious,most merciful.

i want to talk about religion, insyaAllah with my tongue supervised making sure that it doesnt say too much or being too offensive or whatever that is negative.

and again, insyaAllah, all these are to the best of my knowledge.

i shall restart my thoughts,

In the name of Allah,

most gracious, most merciful.

my family is in a state of hmm…learning. because recently, ive attended this islamic class and the ustaz talked about the wahabis and i knew at that second, it would spark the attention of my family members.

Because, my family is a follower of wahabi.

I won’t use the word detest because it’s too much a strong word and what’s the point of hating when it brings no objective. so i’ll say that i don’t agree to ideas of wahabis. nonetheless, i respect them as an individual and to the fact that they make the initiative to follow the ways of prophet muhammad saw. insyaAllah.

putting aside the topic of sects, i can NEVER understand why there are different groups in a religion.

in the argument of which sects is straighter, isn’t the concept already wrong because islam is not about this,right?

well, i tell you who i am.

In the name of Allah,

most gracious, most merciful.

InsyaAllah, i am an indian-blood muslim..i believe in Oneness of Allah swt and Prophet Muhammad saw is a messenger of Allah.

I believe in the pillars of Islam and Faith.

I wear a hijab. I pray 5 times a day. I advise people when they ask for one. I reflect on what i have done so that i am the best of example for myself  first, then, others.i attend religious class when i can. I read and listen to the Quran. I have never attended Maulidur-rasul, but i think, if the intention is clean and the acts are not haraam, then, why not. i don’t wear make ups so often, i refrain from wearing clothes that hugs my body.i don’t like a wedding reception where genders can easily mix and where dance and music is permissible. i watch my tongue before i watch others’. I believe in the other chapter of spiritual side. I insist on having Surah Al-fatihah as a dowry and a private wedding function that is open to family and closest of close friends. and the list go on.

So, where does that put me?

I’m a muslim. isn’t that enough said?

Allied Educator

In the name of Allah,

most gracious, most merciful.

Ive decided to put my previous “allied educator” entry on hold. because of the fact that opinion of a person can change based on circumstances and environment and etc.

the entry was based on my first few weeks as an allied educator. and certainly the perspective of it all has definitely change, for the fact that i am 3 months more matured than i was before on this field.

So, if there are any judgements or whatever that was gathered from my entry, please seek a second opinion and of course it includes my other entries too. because i too, am a human, having so much flaws.

nonetheless, i stay true to my opinions with regards to the previous entry, keeping in mind that, all these are to the best of my knowledge.

insyaAllah.

Azadeh

In the name of Allah,

most gracious, most merciful.

Don’t you just love her. I do.

i put up her pictures anywhere i can. even as my iphone wallpaper.

Azadeh. Freedom from world.

The word, “They”

In the name of Allah,

most gracious, most merciful.

God,

please forgive my tongue for speaking too much.

please forgive my heart for being rotten.

please forgive my flaws.

i just can’t stand muslims who discuss about so many things then they end up getting themselves confused.

they talk and discuss just to know that they are right and the others are wrong. and discuss is not really discuss. but a debate.

they talk about the little knowledge they have and pretend they know enough to put a verdict on it.

Ya Rabbi, please, “I” don’t want to be the word, “they”.

let my blog be stories of our Islamic warriors of the past (ra) and a learning journey worthy to take note of rather than a blog that judges blindly.

//mind’s tired from thinking too much, having mouth shut and from suppressing ideas; fearing that these ideas doesn’t come from my soul

the subject of yet (how to use yet in a sentence)

In the name of Allah,

most gracious, most merciful.

You ask from Allah to be protected from the doings and whispers of Syaitan.

You ask from Allah to be guided to the straighter path.

You ask from Allah for your heart to be patient and have a strengthen iman.

But, yet , YOU listen to music and nod your head to the sound of the music that makes no sense.

Yet, YOU wear clothes that can still see your body line although you’re wearing a hijab.

Yet, YOU walk around the streets wearing make ups to impress the crowds, make your friends jealous and have men turning their heads around looking at you.

Yet, YOU choose to wear high heels and let your body struts and hips move from side to side.

and YOU know ,that all of these if not, most and more of these statements are true, YET, YOU still continue as though there’s nothing wrong with it.

BUT, at the end of the day,

You ask from Allah to be protected from the doings and whispers of Syaitan.

You ask from Allah to be guided to the straighter path.

You ask from Allah for your heart to be patient and have a strengthen iman.

and the cycle continues

Luckiest girl on Earth

In the name of Allah,

most gracious,most merciful.

Can’t help but feeling that tonight is night of opportunities.

Alhamdulilah. i spent about half a day accompanying my mom despite doctor’s orders to give my body ample rest. i ate my medicine obediently,though. as if i had a choice anyway. but alhamdulilah, it was a nice day. it’s been awhile that my mother and i hanged out outside without getting rush. though at 6pm, i had to rush cause i need to complete a project that’s long due this week, insyaAllah great news will come out from it.

and when i came back home, i opened my mails for any updates. Alhamdulilah, ive been selected to become a head tutor again for a centre, God knows which one. my briefing will be held next week, insyaAllah.

and talking about God knows which one, tomorrow i’ll be getting my core and non-core department allocations and the primary level i’m teaching, insyaAllah. and i am pretty sure that it will be primary 3. especially after that incident. zzz.

wah, come to think about it. most of my neighbour colleagues are in PM sessions. humps. no person to talk to in the morning. zzz.

hmm, what else? oh, tmrw is wednesday, which means, Arabic class day. which means i have not done my revision. which means, i’m gg to be the last person in class to actually understand what my mudarris is talking about. gahhh…

oh btw, new arabic word for you guys today…

Teacher- Mudarris (if you still haven’t figure it out yet)

Professor- Ustaz (but asians made ustaz to be religious teacher, God knows why..//shrugs)

ok, it’s midnight.

and tmrw is work. and next week is a start of school.

…i’m sooo not ready to inspire the kids…let alone recharge my passion in me….

like my friend; najib say…”don’t pray for a lighter load. pray for a stronger back.”

and praying as such, it shall be. insyaAllah it will turn out well. insyaAllah.