An education

In the name of Allah,

most gracious, most merciful.

So, i’ve watched the movie; An Education. a very light and interesting movie.

it’s about a 16-year old girl who met an older guy. after much dating and seeing the world in good dining, she finally contemplates between marrying him and drop her ambition to read English or don’t marry him and contn with her studies (duh..) I don’t want to talk about the synopsis, you can just read up online.

at the end of the movie, i was thinking, what’s wrong with marrying young? for girls, anyway.

watch the movie and you’ll know what i mean when i said i agreed with the father. when the father supported the idea of her marrying that man and don’t need to continue studying at Harvard. Don’t really need that education= good salary when you have a man that can support you, right?

the daughter shouted back, what’s the point of the years of studying then, she can just live as a stripper and get such man. and the father said, “i’m not so sure living as a stripper but i’m sure of an education”

and i agreed with the father about education money and other types of money doesn’t come from a tree at house backyard.

however, the ending doesnt sound so good..and i agreed to the ending being so possible for me to deny.

Too bad, the man’s not a muslim…so much for finally finding the one that completes him.

—————

Woman marry young, without saying, prevents the couple from committing zina in so many different ways.

and likelihood for them to divorce would be low (that is if she met a guy very much compatible and be able to take care of her and not of those whose mind is still of a child)…because, the woman would still be young and playful. importantly, be able to ‘mould’ to follow her husband ways. like how Aishah(ra) is to Prophet Muhammad(saw) (Allah knows best), no? i mean, you compared to a 30-year-old woman, they would have build up and influenced by something else and when they finally get married, the spouses will bicket because of too much different of thoughts, cultures, level of open-mindedness, way of living and etc. the factors would be too much.

Cream of All, what’s wrong with marrying young yet still able to continue your studies? it’s just like having a halal-full-time-permanent-contract boyfriend.

Think about it.

and if you disagree with what i’m saying. wait till when you actually get married and finally find the man you love. then, we talk.

such discussion can only conversed through experience and wisdom.

This entry does no justice to what i actually want to say. but words can only be communicated this much.

and also because my mother wants her notebook back. -_-”

Eid Adha

In the name of Allah,

most gracious, most merciful.

Weeks ago, i told my dad of my intention to donate a sheep for EidulAdha. When he plans to donate one, i told him to put my name in and i will pay my share with my money.

Days later after the incident, he told me that he already put my name in the list. and insisted that he paid for it.

Yesterday, he told us that on thursday, he went to the mosque for prayers and saw the sheeps. he called out “nazira!” and the sheep went , “baa..baa” -_-” haha. lol. ok the story’s nt much. but it’s too comical not to share. lol

After solat Eid Adha, we had our lunch and by 1015am, we were on our way to Masjid Haji Yusof to observe my sheep getting slaughtered.

number 77 came and it was finally my turn. i was so nervous of the outcome because if you’re sinful, it would hard on the sheep to be slaughtered. i remembered giving grace that that if i’m that much sinful, please don’t bestow the punishment on the sheep, and let it be sacrificed as smoothly as possible. Allah hu akbar. God knows how much i recited my SubhanaAllahs and Allah huakbars’.

Father told me to touch my sheep. i hesitated but in the end touched it. it was soft and bouncy so i immediately retreat my hand. lol. i think i touched its stomach. yes, i have fear of animals and having a pet hamster didnt help at all. lol.

my mother told me not to sympathize for the sheep. how not to? but alhamdulilah, i reminded myself that it’s for Allah and that if i were in that position. i would have also lift my neck willingly and get slaughtered in the name of Allah. insyaAllah. subhnaAllah. thinking about our islamic heroes, i would have died a thousand times in the field for Allah too.

Although, it’s not my first time observing the sacrifice, i was this CLOSE to becoming vegetarian.

and worst of all, my mother cooked my sheep’s heart and kidneys and told me that i have to eat. I KNOW. i’m like… O_O. lolol. okok, so i justified by saying that i don’t eat heart. so i took 2 bites of my sheep’s kidneys. my mother cooked curry heart and kidneys. i don’t eat lor! i only eat kidneys if it goes with sambal goreng. -_-”

So that’s how much i can recollect my memory now. insyaAllah, i would like to donate with my own money next year. it really was an eye-opener for renewal of faith.

good start to experience Judgement day, perhaps? lol.

//i can’t believe im putting this entry under “food and such” because of the curry my mother cooked.

Dear Sheep nazira, may i see you again in Jannah, insyaAllah. i’m proud that you had the courage to sacrifice yourself in the name of Allah. that you are submissive without questioning. my eyes’ in tears not because i missed you but because for that 2 minutes i know you, i admire your strength.  because we have to be strong even though we have to sacrifice alot.

Bismillah

In the name of Allah,

most gracious, most merciful.

(Teacher): Now children, who knows what we should say before we start some new job or begin eating or go on a journey? Can anyone tell me?

(Children): Teacher! Teacher! Me! Me…. Bismillah!

(Teacher): Very good. Now what does it mean?Bismillah.

(Children): In the name of Allah!

I am a Muslim, the things I say
In everything I do everyday
We are Muslims, the things we say
In everything we do everyday

Oooh, Bismillah,
Oooh, Alhamdullillah (x2)

I am a Muslim and this I know
I need to eat so that I will grow
We are Muslims and this we know
We need to eat so that we will grow

When we eat we say Bismillah
When we’re full, we say Alhamdullillah (x2)

Water, juice and milk, these I think
Are so delicious for me to drink
Water, juice and milk, these we think
Are so delicious for us to drink

When we drink we say, Bismillah
When we’re done we say Alhamdullillah (x2)

Going out with my mum and dad
Coming home, oh what fun we had
Going out with our mum and dad
Coming home, oh what fun we had

Driving in the car, Bismillah
Coming safely home, Alhamdullillah (x2)

I go to sleep saying Allah’s name
And in the morning I do the same
We go to sleep saying Allah’s name
And in the morning we do the same

When we sleep we say Bismillah
When we rise we say Alhamdullillah (x2)

Repeat first verse

From: http://www.musicbabylon.com

The day the Pinata cried

In the name of Allah,

most gracious, most merciful.

An old friend of mine finally opened a blog for his thoughts. alhamdulilah.

May your blog be a source of knowledge. insyaAllah.

Yes, such an announcement’s worth an entry about itself.

www.looking4light.wordpress.com

Time for Self-reflection

In the name of Allah,

most gracious, most merciful.

Now that School holidays are here for the kids, ive only got to commit 4 hours of engagement time in school till my protected time comes. which means, ive got abit more time for myself.

Now that, protected time is nearing and importantly, tmrw is eiduladha and 2 more weekends consecutively…

it’s time for self-reflection. a long long due self-reflection, which should have been done everyday with or without working hours.

insyaAllah, till then, im preparing to gear myself up for tears and long thoughtful entries.

ps. for those who have not watch 2012 movie, it is rubbish movie, so please dont watch it. the movie’s only objective is to instill fear of death in our hearts. and coming from someone, who easily jumps from sudden action-packed scenes, this movie really bore me to death. the only reason why i forced myself to wake up throughout the movie is because i paid 10 bux for it.

and oh, PSLE results are out. although, the results don’t really bring much impact on me, i was utterly disappointed with the results. utterly disappointed. however, im glad to have this opportunity to see the events through my lenses, because then i’ll know, how to raise my child and what not to do when raising one, or 5…(raising eyebrows)

a friend of mine confided that she’s on the verge of breaking up with her boyfriend. and i honestly, don’t know how to console or advise or comfort her or any of that matter. because it has been soo long that i have ever stood in such position, soo long that the meaning of “boyfriend- girlfriend” has lost its meaning. well, and probably because i never have to face such a situation in such a baseless and non-stable relationship of “boyfriend-girlfriend” to begin with. insyaAllah. nauzubillah min zalik.

and when comes to think about it. subhanAllah, it has been 3 years (and still counting, insyaAllah). although, difficult, i have never regret the decision i’ve made.insyaAllah.

i know Allah’s on my side. insyaAllah.

//why is lindsay lohan’s song is stuck in my head. her song is meaningless -_-”

Strangers like me

In the name of Allah,

most gracious, most merciful.

Decided to use my MC day to update my blog. (or like how Malays say “kemaskini” //i like that word. very nice.)  i went for Beach Cleaning with the Primary 5 Kids at East Coast Park, and i prolly got beaten by parasites there, thus,2 days of crazy itchy feet. i finally got a shot on the arm and alhamdulilah, it’s good now.i’m left with visible red spots on my hand.  and much needed, sufficient rest.

today’s the last school day for the kids. so won’t be seeing them again till next year, insyaAllah.

next on my list, i still need to revise my Arabic because test is on Monday, insyaAllah.

Apart from that, life has been same old-same old. -_-”.

My mother and 2 small brothers are tagging along for a trip to India for 2 weeks, in 2 weeks time, insyaAllah.

I do plan to go for a little break, but only God knows how it will go. nothing’s confirmed.

hmm, whatelse…

i’m listening to Son of man song.

and im crap hoping that ill get a better job position at work at the start of next year. insyaAllah.

Cause all these while at work, ive been doing printings, relief classes, and only a portion of the entire time, i actually manage to teach a thing or two on maths.

I’ve got a primary 5 kid who couldn’t read much and other 2 classmates of his, i played with them pictionary (but instead of drawing it out, i describe to them what the subject is). for them it’s fun, but it’s enough for me to know that at the end of the day, the objective of that game is to get them to relate things to the things they see, feel and hear..like for example, the word is “hippotamus” and i game them clues abt “madagascar movie, there’s this girraffe that likes this female animal..what’s that animal called?” see.. relationships.

The funniest part of the game is them trying to figure out the answers, to get them to say the precise pronounciation of the word…some even said it in malay, not knowing how to pronounce the subject in english..alhamdulilah, the last few days with them have been fun.

As for maths, i taught them foundation fractions. Because they are quite weak, i decide to teach fractions from scratch, so in the worksheet, there’s a few pie charts, one chart is shaded half of it, so what’s the fraction and vice versa. unfortunately, i don’t have the time to teach them the primary2-standard word problems. but hopefully at the end of the day, they did learn something although it’s a grain of salt.

so that’s what my job has been..teaching them the basic foundations. of course, with these kids, i have to be creative with my lesson plans. it’s not only abt black and white papers. you gotta mix things round. get them to touch, feel and think. alhamdulilah, credit it on my passion or my knowledge instilled in me to relate or on my young blood; fresh with ideas, i just hope that it will keep on keeping my lesson alive, insyaAllah.

being at the back of the classroom, i saw so many things and i could only feel sorry for the kids and be helpless (for the fact that i came in September)..Those kids who are titled “disrepectful” “disruptive in classroom” and etc and always get reprimanded as a result. half of the time is because, they need personal tutor to guide them. they need different ways of teaching to get them engage in lessons. insyaAllah, if this is what my work is about, i want to help them in many ways i can, insyaAllah”.

Okay, the drowsiness pill i just took is taking its toll on me.

Tt’s all i can talk about.

Till then, Take care.

With faith and understanding,you’ll journey from boy to man

In the name of Allah,

most gracious, most merciful.

Oh, the power to be strong

And the wisdom to be wise

All these things willcome to you in time

On this journey that you're making

There'll be answers that you'll seek

And it's you who'll climb the mountain

It's you who'll reach the peak

Son of Man, look to the sky

Lift your spirit, set it free

Some day you'll walk tall with pride

Son of Man, a man in time you'll be

Though there's no one there to guide you

No one to take your hand

But with faith and understanding

You will journey from boy to man

Son of Man, look to the sky

Lift your spirit, set it free

Some day you'll walk tall with pride

Son of Man, a man in time you'll be

In learning you will teach

And teaching you will learn

You'll find your place beside the

ones you love

Oh, and all the things you dreamed of

The visions that you saw

Well, the is drawing near now

It's yours toclaim it all

Son of Man, look to the sky

Lift your spirit, set it free

Some day you'll walk tall with pride

Son of Man, a man in time you'll be

Son of Man

Son of Man's a man for all to see

Phil Collins Son Of Man

//inspiration and motivational don’t you think so?

call

in the name of Allah,

most gracious, most merciful.

my Plan starts at…

6am–email abt SEM

8am– gym

11am–reach home/clean house

3pm–go facial

430pm-mdis/talk

730pm–arabic class

1030pm–reach home. sleep

but today i woke up at 9am.. how?

if not now, maybe, later.

In the name of Allah,

most gracious, most merciful.

Mother asked me how much i intend to save monthly. i replied a figure. she then asked me what i intend to do with it. and i replied, “just save..for future.”

anyhoos, im gg to keep this entry short. not much to say anyway. and i don’t want to talk abt my work. No objective talking abt it also.

I just hope that there is hope for the kids ive been seeing. although, i am cringing just by thinking abt them. i hope that there’s  light at the end of their tunnel. and i hope that i will get a better year working in the school when january 2010 comes. insyaAllah.

Till then, im still figuring out how to build a proper family,raise my children up properly from the start, get money for the lives ahead and importantly, to be more submissive to Allah’s plan.

Dear Rabb, i shudder at the thought of not getting Your love and You don’t approve of my amalan and proposed thoughts for a better future and to walk on a straighter path. Ya Rabb, i can only pray that i am on the righter path and that You are guiding me through thick and thin. because without You, i’m nothing. So how do i push this fear to make something happen, rather than just hiding in fear and wait and wait and wait for something to happen (knowing that i could have done something, but too afraid to move because i’m too afraid to be sinned and sin).

//bows head down both in embarrassment and fear and humility. Ya Rabbi, forgive my mistakes and my partner if we ever commit one in the future ahead.

//i posted “ithaca” poem at my office desk. constantly reading it whenever i can, knowing and remembering my purpose. not to find money through work, but to gain a journey worth sailing.

Finding the light at the other end of a well.

In the name of Allah,

most gracious, most merciful.

I’m so embarrassed  for not being able to handle ONLY 13 students whereas the teacher in the class can handle all students no matter the class size is big or small.

I can’t engage the students attention.

I don’t want to shout because there’s no point in doing it.

Violence inclusive shoutings are so rare now. you only hear a teacher shout only when the class is too much or when it’s lower primary students. now, the kids aren’t scared anymore. and i prefer it that way, because i rather the students be scared out of reasonings and respect. not out of volume of sound (like how we; the 80s and 90s are programmed.)

But with that, how do i start making them listen to me? im so tired of trying to explain an MCQ question for 10 minutes, walk ard the class to make sure they are doing corrections and wait another 10 minutes to get the kids to be quiet. soon enough, one period is gone and i can only go through 2 MCQs. pathetic right?

12 years old taking PSLE yet don’t know what consequences and responsibilities mean.

But it’s not as if this is my first time teaching. i taught a class before. but the environment is so different. i don’t understand why.

Sigh. But i can’t blame them.

Part of this is my responsibility i have yet to realise the solution. God help me.